THE FOGGY FOG. WITH APOLOGIES TO DORA THE EXPLORER.

A friend of mine suggested I write my next blog about what Chemo does to your sex life. After trying a few times I concluded it would be the shortest blog in history. There is nothing to write about. So we're moving on. Sorry Rinkie. 

I have Chemo Fog. A little studied side effect of Chemo that renders your mind stupid. Dumb as, hmm I had something clever to put in here but I forget. Put it this way: If I had to go out to dinner with Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and the whole team at Fox News I would be the stupidest person there.

I've twice walked into my laundry room today and completely forgot why I was in there. So obviously Chemo brain does have some merits. But for the most part it's a bit troublesome. I have long periods where I sit and stare at a wall trying to recall what I was meant to be doing. The wall gives no answers. I stare some more. These walls do not speak. If they did they'd tell me where to find my keys/wallet/bag so that I can go out and drive around aimlessly trying to recall where I'm driving to. 

Names are impossible. I write them down in my phone with a detailed description of the person. Husband: Noel. Tall guy 6.8. Makes me coffee in the morning. We share 2 children and a dog.

But where it gets really hard is when I sit down to help my 7yr old with her homework. I have a theory. America is now actively competing with the cleverer nations of the world because somewhere between: Computers help you learn to Computers have Angry Birds, we've lost our standing as one of the world's top 5 clever kid countries. And now they're piling it on to catch up. Well I can't do most of her homework. No, I'm not smarter than a 5th grader, I'm stoopider than a 2nd grader. Last night's homework she had to identity the following: Triangle, quadrilateral, pentagon, hexagon, heptagon, octagon, nonagon and decagon. I knew triangle and octagon, because of Octomom, but the rest I had to google. I blame Chemo Fog. I'm writing to Obama asking that all moms and dads going through Chemo please be excused from homework for the duration. 

It used to be that I could do the 5-things-at-once mom thing. I'm down to one. I can no longer talk, type, make dinner, chat on Whatsapp and pour myself a whisky at the same time. Multi-tasking is a thing of the past. I know what it's like to be a man.